The Scariest Place On Earth

Big Daddy and I decided to leave San Diego a day early and head to Disneyland. We also decided we’d surprise the kids. This was hard to do where the oldest was concerned. She was extremely upset to be leaving her friends a day early and demanded we tell her why we were doing this to her. (She’s a serious pain in the ass).

The other two were beyond thrilled when we got to Disneyland! Nita couldn’t quite wrap her mind around it. She kept saying “We’re going here? Now?” Finally, it sunk in and she couldn’t stop thanking us. Jemima was absolutely giddy. Those two almost made up for the other one. Who said things like, “You shouldn’t make a decision like this without talking to me first.” and “I don’t like surprises.” and my absolute favorite, “You can’t make me come here!” As if we were taking her for a root canal.

Jemima loved absolutely everything at Disneyland, but her favorite was meeting the princesses.

My big girls? The almost 9 year old and the 7.5 year old? Well, they were terrified of everything! The first ride we went on was Pinocchio’s. And this scarred them for life. Granted, it’s a little dark and scary. A little. But come on! My two badasses are afraid of a kiddie ride?! Unbelievable.

Then we’re in line for the Pirates of the Caribbean and Nita just loses her shit. Crying, begging, carrying on. So Zeta jumps on the bandwagon. But I think I’ve got Zeta convinced to go on the ride with me. Big Daddy and Nita exit the ride (by getting on the boat and getting off on the other side). Zeta, Jemima and I sit on the boat. While I’m getting Jemima settled, Zeta bolts. Unbelievable.

This is Zeta telling me no roller coasters! Only baby rides like this Dumbo thing.

Later, we’re in Toon Town. Toon Town, people! Standing in line for a Roger Rabbit ride when Nita makes a break for the emergency exit. I kid you not. I lecture them both about the amount of money I have spent to get into this park and how we will not be coming back any time soon and they are damn well going to get on the freaking baby ride in Toon Town! And what’s more, they’re going to like it.

We’re close to the front of the line and I remind them that if it’s at all scary, just remember it’s pretend. Nothing can hurt you and it will be over in 5 minutes. Nita replies with, “I wasn’t scared. I was bored.” Um, yeah. That’s why you bee-lined it for the emergency exit. Nice try, kid.  They enjoyed the ride and I even got them to go on a real roller coaster (Big Thunder Mountain).

Because we couldn’t go on anything dark, remotely scary, creepy or a roller coaster, we we did things I’d never done before at Disneyland. Like paddle a canoe (My arm is still sore).

All-in-all we had a fantastic time and made a lot of great memories. I just had no idea they were such pussies.