The Vow

A lot of good things are happening for me this year. And I truly believe it is because of one vow I made late last year. To not ever say anything negative about myself. Not to anyone and not to myself.

I’m embarrassed (not really) to say that I had this revelation while at the movies. Watching The Adventure of Tin Tin. Captain Haddock spoke to me.

There is a part in the movie where Tin Tin is upset with himself and calls himself a failure. Captain Haddock tells him, “There are plenty of others willing to call you a failure. A fool. A loser. A hopeless souse. Don’t you ever say it of yourself. You send out the wrong signal, that is what people pick up. Don’t you understand? You care about something, you fight for it. You hit a wall, you push through it. There’s something you need to know about failure, Tintin. You can never let it defeat you. ”

Man. That just got to me. The part about putting out the wrong signal. I truly believe we have to be careful what we put out into the universe. And if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will either. And the part about when you hit a wall, you push through it. Yes! You don’t just give up because something is difficult. You push through it.

It’s so hokey. I know. I roll my eyes at myself. But goddamn, it’s working! It started immediately. I had people calling me asking me to work for them. And I didn’t say no. I didn’t make up some excuse about not being able to. Even though I wanted to. Because I was scared. Because that little voice inside my head immediately popped up with You can’t possibly do this. You suck. And I shut that shit right down. I told myself (and my new clients) that I could do it. And I could do it well.  And I did!

Which built up my confidence and encouraged me to seek out other writing gigs and to write a 10 minute play for a local contest. And to accept other offers that are a bit outside my comfort zone.

Do I struggle sometimes? Do I tell myself I’m not good enough? That I can’t? Sure. Sometimes. But, I’ve got tell you: after 5 months it’s gotten a lot easier to shut that down and quick. And to remind myself of all that I can do and have done. And to be excited about all the things I’m going to do.

So tell me, has a fictional character ever inspired you?