So we are at Benaroya Hall to see David Sedaris. Of course we’re checking in to Facebook, tagging each other and taking pictures of our tickets and the hall to post on Facebook and Instagram. Of course. But, I’m also eavesdropping on the few people who are seated around us. (I like to look at people and make up stories about them and what they might be talking about. This drives Big Daddy nuts. It drives a lot of people nuts, actually, so I’ve stopped sharing my little stories with people. I just keep them in my head.)
Sorry, I got off topic there a wee bit. So two guys in their late 20’s or early 30’s are sitting in front of us. I’m not really intrigued by them and am not trying to listen in on their conversation or make up a story about them. But then an usher appears and says something about their tickets and reprinted tickets and how they’ve got to leave. At which point I’m intrigued and so is my date. We speculate about what the problem could be. Did they buy the tickets from some shady outfit? But if the tickets are fakes how did they get past the security (you know, that light wand thingy that scans the barcode on your ticket)?
By now the hall has started to fill up, it’s getting close to show time. Then two young women I would peg to be in their mid-early 20’s take those seats vacated by the men who were ousted and are giggling up a storm. They are holding up their tickets that read “reprinted” across them and I can’t take it! I gotta know. The date and I are all “What’s the story there?” I just can’t take it any longer. Sure it’s fun to make up a story but it’s so much better to get the actual scoop. So I lean in and tap the one closest to me on the shoulder and say, “Excuse me ladies, but what just happened?” The woman closet to me launches very animatedly into this incredible story.
Turns out one of the men was her ex-boyfriend. She had given him the tickets for Christmas. Then he dumped her. And did not return the tickets. Also? He dumped her after picking her up at the airport,taking her out to lunch, accepting gifts that she had brought him from her trip. He dumped her out of the blue. Right in her own living room (this was very upsetting to her. That he would dump her in her own home. But really is there a good place to be dumped?).
One of the first things she did was to call the ticket office and explain she had lost her tickets to David Sedaris while moving (Brillian, no?). They sent her the reprints, marked the originals as missing and here we are today. Great story, no? I loved how she and her friend took such joy in booting out the jerk and his buddy. And the gall of the fucker to show up for Sedaris. Also? He didn’t leave immediately. He spent some time speaking to the usher. I have no idea what was being said, as I couldn’t hear from my vantage point, but I’m certain he and his buddy were trying to find a way to stay. Jackass.
The girl who had been dumped was incredulous. She said they dated for over a year and up until the point he unceremoniously dumped her in her own living room, he’d never acted like a jerk in the least. I told her it some times takes men awhile to show their true colors and to consider herself lucky that he’d shown them after a year instead of say, 5 years into a marriage.
As far as I’m concerned this was the opening act for Sedaris. Very entertaining. As was David Sedaris. Dude’s hilarious. I can’t imagine what it would be like to walk out on stage with a sold out crowd clapping and cheering for you. Because you are reading your shit to them. Clapping and laughing. Wow.
So it was a great show, a fun evening and I had a great time. Stopped myself at two dirty martinis with blue cheese stuffed olives at 6:30pm and clearly I survived my surgery.
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