The Bitches Are Back

The sixth season of Bravo’s Real Housewives of Orange County (RHOOC) debuted last night and it did not disappoint!  I was a little worried because last we saw these ladies, they were broke, divorced and no fun.

Gretchen is nuts. GET A JOB! Now, I  do think Vicky is bitter and bitchy, but she’s right on about Gretchen’s handbag line. The bags are ugly and all she did was slap her name on someone else’s design.  Gretchen has clearly got some sort of issue with herself or she wouldn’t have fallen apart when Alexis jokingly called her a princess. Because she gets to sleep until 8am and doesn’t have 3 little kids. But really who is Alexis kidding? She has nannies 4 days a week and probably isn’t getting her ass out of bed before 8am on those mornings, either. Why is Gretchen at Tamra’s party if she hates her so damn much? She nuts. I was totally on board with her getting liquored up and flirting with the half-naked bartender, however. Why not? What’s with her little entourage? Why does an unemployed, childless woman need an assistant? And how is she paying her? Same with the hair stylist.

Where are Tamra’s kids? In the opening you only say her oldest son with her. She has three little ones. Does Simon have them? Does she not want them on camera? I want the scoop! And why does she keep calling herself a single bitch? She sounds stupid. If she really wants to bury the hatchet with Gretchen she should apologize. Sure, Gretchen needs to apologize too, but you can’t just act like nothing happened and expect to move on. Trust me, I know.

Did you see Dr. (Evil) Will Kirby?! Aka Dr. Tattoff?! Love him! He should be doing bigger and better things than removing Tamra’s tramp stamp and Simon’s name off her ring finger.

The Brazilian Lesbian. Forgive me, I forgot her name. She’s hot and spicy! I like her. She will add some life to these old, bitter bats.  I liked that she tried to smooth things over and doesn’t appear to be a shit disturber. Of course, that could change.

Vicky hasn’t changed one bit! How hilarious was it when she was going on and on about how much the vow renewal has meant for their marriage all while Bravo was showing clips of her berating Donn?! Poor Donn. I’m so glad he’s free of her now. I can’t wait to watch the drama of their separation and divorce play out on television.

Alexis. What a hypocrite. She starts out by telling us that although Tamra went against god and the bible by getting a divorce, she will still be friends with her. Then we find out she herself is divorced! And she talks about the timing of Tamra meeting her new boyfriend, but then says she was dating someone before her divorce was final. And that’s not adultery. Because, you know – the baby Jesus follows the laws of California and not the bible.  Poor Alexis talks about how hard she has it having three little ones and nannies only 4 days a week. That must be rough.

We didn’t get to see Lynn or Jeana last night, but according to the previews they will make future appearances. And pretty good ones by the looks of things! I can’t wait to see that fight between Jeana and Tamra! And of course where Lynn and her family is living now that they filed bankruptcy and their house was foreclosed on.  Also, I’m curious to see what type of trouble their two daughters have gotten themselves into.  Because you know they have.