I fucking hate Soule Mama! She’s worse than Martha Stewart. Because she’s like a real person. With four small children, pets and a home to take care of. Without a big staff like Martha. But she’s nearly goddamn perfect and I just want to tell her to fuck off.
I started reading her blog about a year and a half ago. And? It truly is an awesome blog and very inspirational. Amanda Soule can do everything and she does. She bakes, cooks, sews, knits, crafts with all her kids, she loves flea markets and finds the best stuff! She completely inspired me when I was just starting to motor into the Happy Housewife mode. I thought, “If she can do this with four little kids, surely I can do just some of it with 3.” Ha! No. I can’t. And I don’t really appreciate her throwing it up to me. What with all her “look at my home made laundry soap!’ and her “See all these peaches I canned?” and the “Look at these 42 dresses I made for my girls in my spare time this past weekend.” and the “Don’t you love the bags I made for my boy for baseball?” WTF, Woman! What. The. Fuck. Oh! And! She writes books too!
It’s just too much. I mean I’m wandering around my house trying to pretend there aren’t rings around my toilet bowls and pee on the floor (thanks Big Daddy) or that my counters don’t desperately need a good scrubbing and the floor too. I have to talk myself into doing the laundry, making the beds and emptying the dishwasher for fuck’s sake! How the hell am I to do all that crap and make my own laundry soap?
I’m not going to! I’m just not going to! Goddamn you Amanda Soule! Just once can’t you post how your kids are brats and your too tired to can the peaches? Instead of all these blogs about how you don’t own a television and they write their own daily newspaper on typewriters you found at the flea market? After dining on a 10 course organic meal made from things in your garden? Come on!
I know, I know. I don’t have to read this blog. I don’t have to subject myself to this ridicule. But, I’m sick, people. I’m drawn to the damn thing like a moth to a flame. I cannot stop. I love all her photos and her freaking projects! She does inspire me. Even now when I’m in this whats-the-big-deal-if-there-is-some spilled-juice-on-the-floor-and-the-sink-looks-like-it’s-never-been-cleaned mood.
I am never going to be Amanda Soule or Martha Stewart. And I don’t want to be. I’d just like to keep a clean, organized house and make a healthy dinner for my family more than 3x a week. I think I can get there. And Amanda Soule reminds me I can. I don’t have to do it all. Just a little bit.
But in the meantime, I really do wish she would just fuck off. Or write just one post about how she screams at her kids or lets the laundry pile up! Something!
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3 Responses to Less Than Perfect
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SITS Girls
She is lying if she says she does not have a maid or a personal assistant or some gawd damed help. Either that or she is on meth and awake 24/7. Now there is a picture for ya
If the house, kids, meals, etc. are all perfect my guess is her sex life ISN’T cuz you know something’s gotta give! The husband of a good friend of mine said whenever he meets one of these so-called perfect ladies, he feels bad for their hubby cuz he knows they aren’t getting laid. I’d rather have dirty floors and a sink full of dishes and hot nights with my man than cook gourmet meals and be uber crafty and not have time to love my husband!
No one’s life is that perfect – its impossible! Something is falling through the cracks for sure!
This is a hilarious post and came to me at just the right time, when I suffering from some futile comparisons with soulemama (whose blog, like you, I really like, get ideas from, and is on my blogroll). Thanks!