The Abuse Excuse

I’ve written about this before, but I  have more to say (surprise, surprise).

I cannot for the life of me understand why Jesse James would do an interview about the demise of his marriage.  He doesn’t have million dollar contracts with sponsors that he needs to make happy. He doesn’t have a movie, album or book to promote. Yes, he has that TV show on TLC, but somehow I don’t see his viewers boycotting the show because he cheated on his wife.  But there he was on Nightline ready to spill his guts and humiliate his ex-wife, his children and his parents. Himself, too of course, but who cares.

When news broke of his affair with a tatooed Nazi stripper, Jesse James immediately did the rehab thing that all adulterers seem to do. At the time there wasn’t a reason for why he checked himself into the facility and he still hasn’t said what he was treated for. I assume it was for that fashionable and familiar sickness among celebrity cheaters known as sex addiction. I thought he showed a modicum of decency by not declaring his reasons.  Undoubtedly, the rehab stint was done, at least in part, to help his image and perhaps his marriage.  And to avoid the press.

So when I saw the promos for his interview, I thought for sure it was going to be the usual, “I have an addiction to sex.” bullshit we’ve seen from so many others in recent months and years. I was pretty surprised to hear him claiming childhood abuse as the cause of his infidelities to a wife he claims to love and respect.  Really Jesse? Abuse? From your father when you were a kid? This is what caused your dick to fall into other women? I’m no expert on this or any other psychological issue (except my own), but this just doesn’t ring true to me. And let us for the sake of argument say that it is true. Jesse James’ father was a brute and terrorized him when he was growing up. So what?! Get over it! Get help! Do not have sex with random chicks!

Does no one take responsibility for their own actions? If he was going to do an interview and check into rehab like every other celebrity involved in a scandal, couldn’t he have at least been different and acknowledged it was all his fault? I think he would have garnered a lot more respect had he said, if he is going to insist on saying anything, that he enjoyed cheating for whatever reasons. Sure, maybe there is some issue behind that, that made it enjoyable for him to risk his marriage and his life as he knew it. But, he didn’t need to blame someone else for that. Why not say, “I have issues and instead of dealing with them like an adult, I chose to indulge myself like a child. That is no one’s fault but my own.”

Now his father, a private citizen, is forced to defend himself and his reputation.  No doubt the focus will now be on Jesse’s allegations of abuse with various family members coming forward to either corroborate James’ claims or defend his father, Larry. But that shouldn’t be the focus! It’s not the point! The point is the man cheated on his wife. Repeatedly. He knew what he was doing, he lied to her over and over. Even when she questioned him directly as to his fidelity, he lied. He didn’t chose to privately discuss his childhood abuse with her and get help to possibly save his marriage. So why lay blame at the feet of another man now that the marriage is over?

When will one of these cheaters man up and take responsibility for their own actions?