Tipping the Scale

Right now there isn’t a lot of  balance in my life. It is All Mama All the Time.  I know what you are thinking: I’m a stay at home mom, so of course that is all my life is about. I don’t have a job or a career to take me away from my kids for a few hours each day. That is true, but there is more to any woman than work.

For the last several years, I’ve had other things to occupy my time and my mind and get me out of Mommy Mode. My book club, Girls Night Dinner friends, Mom’s Night Out friends and a weekly or bi-weekly date night with my husband. I haven’t had much opportunity for those things in several months.

One big reason is that I moved to a new state and a new town 6 months ago. I didn’t know a soul, outside of my family, when I first got here.  I did join a book club, but due to extenuating circumstances (husband working, kid sick, kid’s school’s open house) I have only been able to make one meeting. There are some women I have become friendly with, but we aren’t at the monthly girls night out thing just yet.

I’ve been very happy getting to know my new home town. And exploring new interests like sewing, knitting and cooking. But it’s not easy to do those things with 3 little kids underfoot. And after 13 – 14 hours of being Mama, I’m often too tired to set up the sewing machine or pick up the knitting needles.  Besides, I need some human interaction. I do cherish my alone time, but not all the time.  I’m not what I would call a loner or introvert.

Then there is the fact that my husband has been working an inordinate amount of late nights, weekends and out of town trips. It’s All Work All the Time for him. He hasn’t had a whole lot of balance himself.  We are two grumpy ships passing in the night lately. There have been date nights here and there and some fun family weekends, but not the amount we had grown accustomed to spending together.

It’s just not enough any more. I need some female bonding. I need friends! I need to get out and do something with someone other than my kids. I need some balance. Kids, friends, husband, hobbies. I’m sure it will come and I just need to be patient. But without the husband around to talk to and vent to and bond with, I don’t have as much patience as I normally would.  I’m starting to feel sorry for myself, and I’m not really digging that.

I am going to buck up.  I know the work will slow down, I will make more friends and have the time to cultivate the friendships I have. There will be more drinks with friends and dates with my husband. I will just have to get through this bit of 24/7 Mama without killing myself, my husband or the kids.