That Friend

We’ve all got one, right? That friend who isn’t really quite a friend because she talks behind your back, is always negative, seems to only call when she needs something, is a know-it-all, always lets you down or god forbid, is all of those things.  But you can’t quite shake her because she’s been in your life so long and you have mutual friends or she actually does have some pretty good qualities. So you suck it up and limit your exposure to her.

I always like to start out giving these people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they have some deep-seeded childhood issue that keeps them from being truly happy and so they take it out by being over sensitive, or negative or  not showing up when you need them. Or perhaps they’re just not very good at being friends. Or maybe she’s just an asshole. Who knows? I do know that I get fed up with these types of people in my life. It is draining. And seems to cause me to not be as nice to those I love because I’m so irritated and irked by the so-called friend and her shitty behavior.

I really can’t take the snarky friend. The one who always has something negative to say no matter what news I’ve shared or comment I’ve made. You know the one. You tell her how excited you are your kids are going to be riding the bus to school because that means you get to stay in pjs and have a bit more time to pull yourself together in the morning. And she replies with something like, “Too bad they have to be on the bus so early though.” Or you tell her you scored the dress you are wearing for $10 and she says, “Was that the only color it came in?” Eyeing it and you like you look like someone puked on you. And you want to say something snarky back, but this friend is schooled in the ways of the insulter. So when you do she says “What? I was just asking because I think a different color would look good on me.” But you know that’s not what she meant and she never wears dresses!

Or how about the drama queen who turns everything into something. She’s got to gripe and harp on the tiniest of things until you want to put a fork in your ear so you won’t have to listen to her drone on.

I know I should remove these toxic people from my life. But sometimes it’s just not that easy. So I limit my time with them to group settings or only see them one-one-one very rarely.  I might worry that they’ll notice and wonder what’s up. But no. These people never think they might have done something wrong. She’ll just think I’m a bitch and have issues that have absolutely nothing to do with her because these people never change.