You Look Like a Stepford Wife

I did not forget to watch DWTS last night!! Yay me! In fact, I got myself all set up and ready a bit before the show began. I was all propped up on the couch covered with my softest, coziest blanket, the scarf I’m working on for Zeta in hand, my cell phone on my lap and my glass of wine at my feet. There isn’t a coffee table or end table in our home because we have a toddler who might bump her head on the damn thing or take an eye out on the corner of it or just climb up on the table and dance her little ass off and then stage dive onto the floor. None of which are acceptable.

So for the 30 minutes or so before the kids went to bed there was a lot of “Hey! Watch the wine!” and “Look where you are stepping! My wine glass!!” and a few fed up cries of “We see your stupid wine glass! We know where it is, OK?!” and only one, “I just got a little on my foot.” which was followed by a “Come here and I’ll lick it off.”

Wow. DWTS does not disappoint! What a hot mess. First of all, is Pam Anderson on drugs or what was the deal with her? All those weird faces and the crazy eyes. Buzz Aldrin gets a bum deal! Come on! You knew he was old as dirt when you asked him to be on the show! You can’t be giving him 4′s for crying out loud! And am I to understand that Buzz Aldrin, who danced gracefully albeit slowly, gets a lower score than Kate Gosselin who looked like a scared robot?!

How can Kate Gosselin be that bad? She’s spent the last several years in front of a camera 24/7 and never once looked nervous or self conscious. She ripped her husband a new asshole weekly and was never afraid how that would look on national television. So now she’s had a goddamned ball room installed in her home so she can practice and still be in the same state as her kids, and she still sucks ass.

She barely moved! She looked so scared. She either looked like a deer caught in the headlights or she was looking at her partner and asking what she should do. Then flinging her arm up in the air a beat too late.  Bruno was dead on when he said she looked like a Stepford wife. America, vote her off!! She’s young, she’s healthy, she has all the time in the world to practice and still she looks like a robot with a stick up her ass. Let’s put her out of her misery and get her off the show.