*UPDATED with more PB* Peanut Butter is the Bane of My Existence

Once I start cleaning my house it is easy to see how much work I could save myself if I would just enforce the rules. There would be a lot less peanut butter to clean off the furniture and a lot less crumbs to vacuum up off the floor, if only I’d make the kids eat at the table. If only I would make them wash their hands after they eat, there would not be quite so many dirty finger prints on every surface of my house. If I had them make their beds and pick up their rooms before they are allowed to start their day, I wouldn’t have so many beds to make or clothes and toys to put away.

But I’m lazy! I don’t want to argue when they insist on eating in the living room so they can watch Rubber Dubbers.  I don’t want to sit them all at the table and buckle and unbuckle the little one from her booster seat. You have no idea how many times a day they eat! It’s not just 3 meals and a couple snacks around here. Oh, nooooo. So I get fed up and just start letting them take whatever out of the fridge or pantry and have it.  And anything Nita eats will involve peanut butter. And Zeta? Lord help that girl. I once found a hand print in Nutella on my kitchen wall. When I questioned her as to how and why it got there, I found out she’d stuck her entire hand into the jar to scoop it out and eat it.   Spoon just wasn’t good enough for her.  Do you see what I’m dealing with here?

I don’t want to have to remind them to wash their hands, or stand over them while they do. Not to mention clean up the water and soap and dropped towel. It’s bad enough after they brush their teeth. Bathroom looks like a war zone when they’re done with it. But that is only twice a day. If I made them wash their hands after every meal and snack, they’d never get out of the bathroom.  I do try to get them with a wet paper towel and I can get the little one cause she’s trapped in that booster seat and must submit to my will. But the other two are off and running or give their hands the cursory swipe before dropping the paper towel on the floor and flying out the door or up the stairs.

And the whining and the arguing. Lord help me. Just asking them to pick up their clothes can cause a major blow out. They are so put out! And they yell at me. If I have to listen to Zeta whine/scream, “I have to do everything around here,” one more time I might lose my shit. And of course asking them to do their chores leads to “It’s not fair! She put those clothes there! Not me!” and “You don’t make her clean as much as I do!” from both of them. A child’s idea of justice and fair play is something along the lines of “I always win, I’m always right, I don’t have to do anything, I’m allowed to do whatever I want and my sister is always wrong.”

When you’re lazy like I am it is easy to ruin your kids. I’d rather make the beds, squelch the fights, clean the peanut butter off my couch (this is why we bought leather) and windows than listen to their bullshit. I realize this is horrible parenting and I need to get it together. For my sanity as well as for their future friends and husbands. It’s not too late for the little one. I can get her on the right track before she even starts. The other two will put up more of a fight. But I can break them. I’m confident. Daddy will back me up.

After cleaning this morning, I’m ready.