Happy Hour Playdates

I cannot turn on the television or open a magazine  lately without hearing or reading about how so many mothers are drinking while taking care of the kids. Well, no shit, people! It’s what we do.  If we don’t have a drink we might just kill one of those kids! Or ourselves. And if it’s a really bad day, we may just take everyone out.  Seriously, when did having a glass of wine with a friend become symptomatic of a drinking problem? We have a friend over who brings her kids, we’d like a glass or two of wine.  I just read about the horrors of looking forward to 4pm so you can pour yourself a glass of wine. What?! I am going to go out on a limb here and say that looking forward to a glass of wine after dealing with your kids all damn day is not indicative of a drinking problem. Nor is sitting down with a friend and drinking some sort of alcoholic beverage while your kids play in the next room.  It simply means we’d like to relax and unwind a little rather than hide in our closets and cry. 

One bad apple can ruin the whole damn bunch. I am pretty sure this  hoopla over Moms Happy Hour is because of that woman,Diane Schuler, who left a campground loaded and killed her 2 year old daughter, 3 young nieces, 3 men in another vehicle and herself. Well, ok, that chick had a problem! According to test results she had the equivalent of 10 shots of 80 proof alcohol in her system and had recently smoked marijuana. That’s not what most moms are doing during their happy hours. Or any other time during their day.  I am pretty sure that if I were drinking 10  hots of vodka and smoking weed, my husband would notice. My kids too. They’re pretty bright.

What we are doing is blowing off a little steam. Chatting with our friends about kids and motherhood and lifting the weight off our shoulders just a bit. Being a mother is a really, really, really hard job. And it’s pretty much thankless. It’s not often that your kids are going to tell you what a great job you’re doing and certainly no one is giving you an annual review and singing your praises. So sometimes we get overwhelmed, sad, lonely, frustrated, etc and all we want is to commiserate or yes, just take the edge off a little bit.  We pat each other on the back and make each other feel normal. There are times when you think you are the only one with kids who fight over everything, like who gets to open the door and who got to use the orange plate last.  You start thinking everyone else goes to the grocery store with 3 kids without needing an anti-anxiety pill when they’re done.  This doesn’t make us drunks or women with drinking problems. Or bad moms! No one is having a glass of wine with their friends while the kids play with matches in the next room. Trust me on this. We are annoyed because we keep getting interrupted and have to check and see what the noise is or why there is no noise. We can barely finish the one glass during the 2 hour playdate. I suppose we could slam back 10 shots of grain alcohol, but that’s not really what we’re about.

So why are all these articles being written and talk shows featuring this topic? Because of the few women who truly do have drinking or drug problems? Well, as my 6 year old would say, That’s not fair! I am sorry anyone is suffering because a mother chose to drink too much and drive or pass out rather than take care of her children. But don’t put us all in the category.  Don’t make any one of  us feel like we do have a problem or should be ashamed of our 4pm wine habit.  In general, we moms are pretty hard on ourselves. We don’t need someone else pointing fingers. We’ve got enough crap that we actually do, like yell too much or feed them hot dogs and mac-n-cheese 3x a week, we don’t need this crap too. Our happy hours are sacred. Back off, America, with your politically correct bullshit and your judgy ways.

Raise your glasses, Ladies. It doesn’t mean you have a problem. It means you’re human.

P.S. I was drinking when I wrote this.