Hey! How’s everyone doing? Have you missed me? I’m doing well, but still a little woozy and weening off the pain meds. It’s easy to get used to a little oxy and vodka in the evenings. Kidding! For the most part.
Anyway, today I am excited to have my friend, Garron guest post today. He doesn’t have children but he recently had an experience that I think all parents will be interested in. We all want to teach our children about tolerance, the evils of judgment and ridicule, right? So grab your coffee, sit back and read about the unwelcome surprises a person can recieve when they alter their appearance. Then give Garron some feedback in the comments. He’s a good guy, married to a fantastic lady. Also? He has a killer beer collection and has been known to do great things with vodka.
My name is Garron Karabelnik and I own a small computer consulting firm in San Diego called G Squared Computing. I’m approaching 40 and I’m always looking for new experiences in life, often the more extreme the better. I was chatting with my wife one day about needing a haircut and mentioned that perhaps I’d just shave it off and get a Mohawk. She laughed and expressed her disbelief that I’d do such a thing and for some reason it really stuck a cord with me.
This idea of doing something so crazy just kept rattling in my brain long enough to put the pieces together of a social experiment using this as a basis. I was very curious how three different groups of people would react to the Mohawk; people that know me, people that are only visually acquainted with me and strangers. Of course the WAF (wife acceptance factor) was critical to this so I surprised her when she walked in the door by standing there with a stern look on my face. Her first reaction was a double take, followed almost immediately by giggling like a schoolgirl and then insisting on rubbing my head. For the next few days at least I could depend on keeping her in the fold with a stern look which always seemed to crack her up.
I’d like to report that people that knew me were overwhelmingly supportive; and the reality was most were. There were certainly a few holdouts however – most of which my wife got to deal with via text message directly to her who seemed to think I had either gone nuts or was having a mid-life crisis; I’m also sure some of the supportive people were privately thinking the same. There was a definite distinction between in-person reactions from real life friends and their reactions on the internet. In person was overwhelmingly supportive while on the internet it was considerably more split – in fact the bulk of the messages to the wife mentioned above came from real life friends who only saw pictures.
Next were the people that only visually know me, for instance people I pass while running almost every morning. I run a very similar route 3 weekday mornings by myself or with my usual running partner and we pass the same people almost every day. Generally we are all friendly and say hi to each other in passing or wave. The very first morning I was out running with the new haircut we only passed one person – however that person lives in my complex reasonably close to me and we have always waved and said hello in the past both in the complex and while running; this morning I got neither – I was quite surprised that his eyes glanced at us and then slid by and he passed in silence to my wave and normal hello.
The people who don’t know me at all were the real telling blows – the reactions from the moment I walked out from getting the cut they started. I watched people in the parking lot take small detours to walk around me instead of past me and none seemed capable of looking me in the eye or saying hello even in response to my friendly nod and spoken greeting. We went out multiple times over the next week to see if this response would hold and in general people would walk by me never making eye contact and not saying hello even in response to me. Restaurant staff generally did pretty well with it, though even they had trouble with eye contact at first but would loosen up soon enough.
I realize none of this should truly be a shock to me, but I can’t help worry about what kind of world children are growing up in. I was hoping we were moving beyond cover and snap judgments – and now I worry if we are it’s simply not fast enough. If we react this way to a haircut how do we not have similar reactions to tattoos and piercings? If we react to those where do we draw the line, I suspect we will react in kind to skin color, handicaps, sexual orientations amongst others. These are behaviors that children will learn from our reactions and pass down to their children. I’d like to hope that we can learn to judge people from who they are inside and if we don’t know them how about we give them the benefit of the doubt and teach our children that instead?
I have read some great books recently and thought I’d list them here for you. I’m not up to writing reviews or synopsis so I will link to them instead. Happy reading! And please share your book recommendations in the comments.
The Good House by Ann Leary
Golden Boy by Abigail Tarttelin
Schroder by Amity Gaige
Constance by Patrick McGrath
The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce
Heart of Palm by Laura Lee Smith
The Round House by Louise Erdrich
The Burn Palace by Stephen Dobyns
Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingslover
While I am recuperating, a friend and fan of te blog, who shall be known as Mammina, will be entertaining you with her wit and charm. She has FOUR kids and is nearing a breakdown.
Ok, so while Trish is having her pipes worked on, I’m here to keep you company. Despite the fact that she’s under the knife and pumped up like balloon full of CO2 (laparoscopic, wheee!), I can tell you she’ll be fine. I had my plumbing overhauled about 6 years ago, and that part is no sweat. Like Trish, I kept my ovaries, and oh my heck are they still working–like too well. I positively melt at the sight of a baby, any baby, human or otherwise. Then, it’s like an all-out endocrine vs. brain war:
“No, I don’t. I have four! FOUR! That’s plenty! And they’re almost all in school! All in school!!!”
“A baby! All sweet and soft and cuddly…”
“Tempting as that may be, I do NOT want to reset the clock on the timeline here.”
“Baby, baby, baby. BABY!”
“Ugh. I hear you. We’re just going to have to agree to disagree on this one
I love my babies, but I love myself, too. I am so ready to move into this next part of my life. Y’know, the one where for at least some portion of the day I get more than 3.29 minutes without an interruption. The one where I actually get to go to the bathroom entirely alone. The one where my needs get to rise up beside theirs. I have been ready for this for a while. At least, my brain has. I’d even had my tubes tied years before the hyster(ical)ectomy. My ovaries just missed the memo, I guess.
While she’s down, let be sure we keep an eye on Trish’s stats on the Women’s Forum Expert Blogger contest. There’s another contender whose team might be as devoted as we are. It’s been close the last day or so (and Trish even slipped into second for a bit). So, let’s keep up the click-love.
Well, tomorrow is the big day! I’m having a hysterectomy!! Woot! Woot! Keeping the ovaries and tubes so I’ll still be a hormonal mess who ovulates, but it’s better than going right into menopause and being a giant hormonal mess who doesn’t ovulate. Right?
I have no idea how I’m going to be feeling the next couple of weeks – I may not be posting or I may be hopped up on dope (aka pain meds) and blogging all sorts of things. Who knows?! But just in case I am not around, that will be why.
While I’m gone please keep voting for me for Women’s Forum‘s Next Top Bloggers
I know I have a big lead, but shit happens, people. Keep voting!
OK, so here are the things I will NOT miss when my uterus is gone:
- Periods, blood clots, cramps, tampons, and maxi pads
- Having a separate drawer for period underwear (cotton grandma panties with blood stains)
- Back aches
What I’m most looking forward to?
New underwear and lots of unprotected sex! Kidding. Big Daddy had a vasectomy almost 5 years ago.
This is our summer bucket list so far. I’m sure it’s going to be amended frequently over the coming weeks. School is out next Wednesday, June 12th at 10:50am. I’m not sure I’m ready.
- Zoo This one is mine because I have yet to go to the zoo here! The big girls have gone with friends and on field trips. Poor Jemima hasn’t been to a zoo since she was a year old.
Nature Bridge This is where Zeta spent Outdoor Ed a few weeks ago. She liked it so much she wants to go back.
- Roller rink
- Rock wall Not at all sure how this differs from rock climbing, but we are getting a new indoor climbing place on the island. That’s where I’m planning to go
- Walk dogs Yes, my daughter wants to spend her summer walking dogs. So, neighbors, please do Zeta (and me) a solid and ask her to walk your dog. She’ll do it for free! And the for the sheer joy of the experience. Thank you.
- Go camping We have reservations for a camp site on Whidbey Island next month.
- Jump off dock Yes, my kid really, really wants to jump off a dock. She must have seen this on a movie or something.
- Outdoor movies in our backyard as well as the public ones at the Waterfront Park. We have a projector, we just need a screen.
- Host a BBQ party
What’s on your summer bucket list?
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
Mama’s martini fund
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